


Another sleepless night

by Tomtoms



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Nightmares, Spoilers, amusment park dates, i wish it was tho, its so hard to do tags lmaoo, send help, spoilers to canon but none of this is canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 17:00:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16022162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tomtoms/pseuds/Tomtoms
Summary: Akechi knows he shouldn't get too familiar with the raven haired boy, but when asked out on a date he can't stop himself from saying yes. This might have been a huge mistake as he ends up spending the night at the others place and possibly exposing himself in the progress.Im just a sucker for hurt/ comfort and best boys crying tbh lmao





	Another sleepless night

Akechi woke up to his own scream, feeling the tears stream down his face like a waterfall. _Pathetic_. He wiped his eyes with his left sleeve, it wasn’t unusual for him to wake up like this but it was something he would probably never get used to.

He sat up and sighed, the time was still 04:25 am, he still needed at least two more hours of sleep. He laid down again even though he knew very well that he wouldn't be getting any more sleep that night. It was always the same. The same dream, the same awakening and the same following hours when he would just lay there, staring up at the ceiling, trying to forget the lonely feeling from the dream. Trying to forget his mother's lifeless body. Trying to forget the adults laughing at him. Trying to forget the screams and the blood infront of him. Trying to forget the emptiness inside him. He never succeeded. Not that he expected to be able to move on at this point. Giving up was a better option.

Even though he knew that these dreams would always haunt him, he had at least hoped to get some sleep on that particular night, as he was supposed to meet the raven haired boy who seemed to always make his way into his thoughts the next day. He had been quite shocked when Akira asked if he wanted to hang out with him on his free day but before Akechi could even think about all the bad consequences, he had foolishly agreed. Something inside him still dared to hope that his whole life up until this point was all a bad dream. That he would wake up the next day to a normal life in which he could hang out with Akira without them being enemies.

 _That's right, he’s your enemy_. The thought passed by and he squeezed his pillow. He should have said no. He should never had interacted with the other boy to begin with. That way he wouldn't have to feel like this. The conflict inside him threatened to tear his body apart.

“I just have to push him away tomorrow. If he hates me I won't have any regrets later” he whispered and closed his eyes.

\--------

He straightened his tie, hesitating to open the door to the cafe. Akira had told him to meet him at Leblanc at 12:30 pm and now there he was, 12:15 pm, fifteen minutes too early and the anxiety welled up inside him.

What if this was some sort of cruel joke? What if the timing was bad? What if Akira had changed his mind?

Just as he started spiralling down the dark hole he dug himself, almost turning around and running home to hide in the safety of his own apartment, Akira opened the door to the cafe and Akechi got painfully aware of how red his face must be.

“Why are you standing out here?” Akira smiled and gestured for Akechi to come inside.

“I… I’m sorry I was just thinking it might have been inconvenient!” he started and Akira blinked at him in confusion. “Since I’m early and all…” he finished and tried to smile his usual, confident smile. He would kill himself if he let his true nervousness and feelings slip up.

“Don’t worry about it, I was just about to text you and see if you were on your way since I’m ready to leave anyways” Akira said and smiled the smile that made Akechi want to crawl into a hole and die.

“I’m relieved” he answered, finding his way back into his usual calm smile. “May I ask where we’re going?”

Akira never told him, he said that it would be a surprise, which made Akechi’s anxiety even worse. Akira wasn’t the sort of person to play some sort of joke on him right? Akechi already knew that he would probably never do that, but from past experiences with other people, he couldn’t help but feel a bit scared.

“You’ll see” Akira answered and smiled again. _Great_.

\-------

“An amusement park?” Akechi questioned as they walked through the entrance.

“You don’t like them? I thought this would be a perfect first date” Akira shrugged, looking a bit nervous.

“It’s not that I don’t… I’ve never been to one actually…” Akechi began before realizing what Akira had just said. He could feel heat flush to his cheeks.

“A-a what?” he stumbled over the words. How embarrassing.

“I asked you out, what else would this be?” Akira asked, looking a bit hurt as he took a few steps towards Akechi.

“I-I didn't think it would be…” Akechi began but stopped when he didn’t know how to continue.

“If it’s a problem we can start over without it being a date” Akria suddenly said. How could he say something like that with such confidence? Wasn’t he feeling embarrassed?

“It’s not a problem… I just didn’t expect…” he trailed off again. _Pathetic_. When he refused to look up, Akira grabbed his hand and smiled.

“Then let’s go” he said an led Akechi into the park.

When they had payed for their tickets, Akechi found himself at a loss for what to do. What do you even do in an amusement park as two teenage boys? Go on one of the rides? Take a walk? Should he buy Akira something to make up for him paying for them both? His thought were soon cut of by Akira taking his hand again and leading him towards what seemed to be one of the bigger rollercoasters. Great, now he was really anxious again.

“I-isn’t that one a little too… big?” he tried to protest. With this being his first time at an amusement park he didn't think Akira would think it was a good idea to make him go on one of the bigger rides. Apparently he was wrong. 

“Come on it’s fine” Akira answered while pushing Akechi into one of the seats before he could protest any more.

“Akira since this is my first time in one of these parks, I don't know what to expect from this ride” he attempted to change Akiras mind but it was too late. The roller coaster was already staring up and soon enough Akechi felt the wind in his hair as they went through the first loop. He closed his eyes tightly but he wasn't frightened anymore. It was actually kind of fun? Everyone’s laughter and excited screaming cancelled out his nervous thoughts and he found that he was actually enjoying it quite a lot. When it was over and he opened his eyes he was met with Akira's smirk.

“You’ve got quite a cute laugh Akechi” he said and Goro felt heat rise to his cheeks again.

“What?” He had been laughing without realizing? It must have sounded gross right? Then why was Akira smiling like that?

“You’re very cute” Akira repeated himself, he seemed to enjoy seeing the flustered look on Akechi’s face, seeing as his smirk grew into a cheeky grin.

Before Akechi could answer, Akira took his hand and led him onto the next carousel. It was actually so much more fun than the detective had expected and he didn't wanna stop. However the day came to an end and Akira finished the experience with buying cotton candy for them both.

“What’s this?” Akechi questioned, feeling dumb when Akira looked at him like it was obvious.

“You’ve never had cotton candy?" He asked and Akechi felt stupid once again.

“I’ve never been to one of these parks before… When would I ever have had it?” he answered and observed Akira as he ate some of it. By the look of it it seemed tasty.

When he tasted some of it himself, he must have made a weird face because Akira’s lit up.

“Told you it’s good!” He said and grinned widely which made Akechi feel some rather conflicting feelings.

\-------

Akechi found himself so caught up in their conversations that he didn’t even realize that he had followed the other boy back to Leblanc. Realizing this caused somewhat of an anxiety attack and Akira seemed to notice because he put his hand on his shoulder and met his eyes with a concerned look.

“Everything okay?” He asked softly. Too softly.

“Ah, yes! I just realized that the last train might have left already” he laughed nervously, neither wanting to be an inconvenience for Akira nor himself.

“Shit I completely forget that you live on the other side of town” Akira said. He paused, probably thinking about a solution.

“You could always stay the night if you wanna? Sojiro doesn't live in this building and I have a couch you could sleep on” he offered and scratched the back of his neck, almost as if he was nervous about not having another bed to offer.

Akechi knew he should politely turn down the offer and try to find another solution to get home, staying over wasn’t a good idea on any level.

“Thank you very much for the offer but I don’t wanna be an inconvenience. It might not be too late to take a taxi home” he smiled, trying to sound convincing.

“It wouldn't be an inconvenience though! Taking a taxi from here would be very expensive, it’s really okay if you stay the night… I really don't mind” Akira mumbled, almost, almost as if he _wanted_ Akechi to stay.

The brunette tried to think for a moment. Maybe it would be fine if he stayed over? Maybe he wouldn't have the usual nightmares if he was really lucky. He looked up again and met Akira’s, compelling to say the least, eyes.

“That would be very helpful thank you” he smiled and hesitantly followed Akira into the cafe and up the stairs.

Akira’s attic was roomy but ruff. After a while Akechi seemed to start finding the room kind of comforting in a weird way though. Akira seemed to have tried to decorate it the best he could, there were a few plants and on the wall was a lot of glow in the dark stars. Akechi smiled to himself, imagining Akira putting them up himself to make the room more home like.

Akira broke him out of his thoughts by handing him a shirt and pyjama pants.

“Here, you can borrow these to sleep in” he said and smiled and Akechi thanked him before turning around to change. The shirt was a bit too big and it exposed his shoulder and collarbones.

Feeling Akira’s stare he started to feel quite embarrassed again and decided to just lay down on the couch, pulling the blanket Akira had prepared over himself. He heard Akira’s bed rustle as he too laid down and threw his blanket over himself.

“Thank you for today” Akechi said with a low voice. Akira smiled before answering. 

“The pleasure is mine” he said, mimicking Akechi’s politeness.

Akechi felt a warmness inside of him that made him have to stop himself from smiling, but after a just little while the good feeling was replaced with a bad one. He wasn't in the safety of his own apartment. He had never slept at another person's place before. The last things he wanted was to wake up with nightmares as usual. Maybe he should stay awake the whole night? No that would surely be bad, especially since he would have to go to work the day after. If he couldn’t even sleep at another person’s place then he would be even more pathetic than he already felt he was.

Forcing himself to breathe calmly and closing his eyes was a challenge in itself but after a while he drifted of to sleep.

\-------

_Darkness, loneliness, fear. The emotions were too overwhelming. He was a child again, walking through the dark house. Looking for someone. It didn't matter who it was, just someone. He smelled the metallic scent of what could only be blood and tears streamed down his face as he entered the dark bathroom. The body on the floor didn't move. Blood everywhere. On the body, in the bathtub, on the floor. Everything was spinning. “Mother!” he heard himself scream. A pathetic scream. Someone pulled his arm, dragged him out of there._

_“Stop screaming!” A sharp sting on his cheek. More sobbing. Ringing in his ears. More loneliness._

_“It’s your fault you know. If you weren't born none of this would’ve happened”_

_He’s alone again, crying, maybe screaming. Everyone is walking away, ignoring him. He doesn't exist. All that exists is a black hole inside his body. Aching for something… for someone._

"Akechi _?!”_

_His name? Someone was saying his name? They sounded desperate. Maybe it would be okay to answer? He’s so tired of this darkness after all._

\-------

Akechi woke up to what seemed to be an earthquake. He opened his eyes in panic, meeting Akira’s shocked expression. No earthquake?

No. It was his own body shaking violently in sync with Akira trying to wake him up. He didn’t even notice the tears streaming down his own face until Akira reached out to wipe some of them away.

No. This wasn’t supposed to be happening. No one was suppose to see this. No one was supposed to see him this fragile and vulnerable! Especially not Akira. This wasn’t how he wanted things to go. He didn’t even realize Akiras voice until it was right by his ear.

“It’s okay… You’re okay… I’m here… Shhh” he whispered over and over again while wiping away the tears that just kept coming. This couldn't be real right?

“I- I’m sorry” he began to apologise for waking the other up, wiping away his own stupid tears.

“Why are you apologising?” Akira asked in a soft voice, pulling his head back to look Akechi in the eyes.

“Because I woke you-” Akira didn't allow him to finish before pulling him into a hug. When was the last time someone hugged him? He couldn't remember. All he knew was that it felt foreign.

“Shhh” Akira wiped some of his tears again. Was he still crying?

“I’m so sorry for the inconvenience.... really, I’m okay now. You can go back to sleep” Akechi said. Desperately trying to get the situation under control. Akira just shook his head while still holding him close. Too close.

“Does this happen often?” Akira asked softly after a while.

“What?” Akechi answered under his breath.

“Nightmares?” Akira whispered.

Akechi didn’t know if he should be honest or lie. Akira was his enemy, he shouldn't be this vulnerable in front of him. He shouldn't get familiar. The whole day was a mistake and it’s was his own fault for agreeing to such a stupid thing as staying over… he should have called someone to pick him up… He should have turned down the meeting to begin with.

 _Who_? he heard a voice inside his head say. _Who would ever want to have something to do with you?_ Shido’s voice didn’t seem to want to leave him alone. He let out a broken sob before he could stop himself. _Pathetic_.

Akira pulled him into a hug again and started to rub his back. Akechi couldn't stop the sobbing anymore. Gross, he thought. Akira must have been disgusted. Just as he thought that, the raven started to whisper soothing things in his ear again.

“You’re okay”

 _I’m not_. Akechi sobbed again.

“You don’t have to be afraid anymore”

 _I do_. Tears fell on to Akiras shirt.

“You’re wonderful” Akira’s voice made it’s way past Akechi's walls. Threatening to break them down even more.

_How can you say that? I will betray you. You should dispose of me now while you have the chance._

“I love you”

Huh? He sobbed loudly again. Trying to compose himself enough to answer him.

“W-why?” is all he managed to get out as he tried to pull away but Akira just hugged him tighter.

“Because you’re wonderful Goro” the use of his first name made heat rise to his face. When was the last time someone called him that? It didn’t matter. All that mattered was that they were enemies. Nothing more.

“I’m a horrible person” he said but Akira just shook his head.

“You’re not” how could he be so sure?

“I will hurt you”

“You won’t” why did he sound so confident?

“I-I... will have to do something horrible to you and you will be hurt... You would hate me if you knew” why is he telling him this. This is bad. _Shut up shut up shut up_...

“I know”

“H-huh?” He knows? Then why is he hugging him? He couldn't possibly have seen through Goro’s plan? It was perfect, no room for failure. If he knew all along then... Why did he ask him out on a date to begin with, why was he hugging him right now, telling him he loves him?

“But I don’t hate you Goro” Akira said and pulled away. His eyes were now also full of tears.

Akechi sobbed again and pulled Akira into his arms. Akira’s tears fell onto his back now and Akechi felt a strong sense of guilt.

“I’m so sorry” he managed to choke out and Akira just shook his head and pulled him into a soft kiss.

A kiss?

Akechi’s head was spinning. Their tears mixed into each other, it was a mess but it was great. They just sat there for god knows how long, crying, hugging and kissing. What a mess of a night, Akechi thought.

But he didn't want it to end.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for that shuake hurt/comfort. I hope it's okay tho and I hope they aren't too out of character, please be kind to me;;;;  
> Also sorry if the grammar is a bit off in some places. English is not my first language but i'm trying my best;;;


End file.
